Somehow, I, the fool, ended up believing that writing this kind of text would be easy and quick, given the subject matter; my amusing encounters on Grindr, all of which, by the way, are based on real conversations despite their absurdity.
– Tesla Sysipuu (Being trans on Grindr be like)
The excerpt above is from a letter written by the trans comic artist Tesla Sysipuu for an event called “Letter to My Reader,” held during the Turku Night of the Arts (August 15, 2024). The event attracted a relatively large audience to B-Galleria, where poet Susinukke Kosola recited letters from autobiographical queer comic creators to their fictional readers.
The letters were not actually written to real readers, but were instead based on a writing prompt I sent out at the beginning of the summer, where I asked the artists to respond to two questions: Why did you create your comic? What did you want to express with it?
So, what did I want to express with my comic? Actually, nothing. I just wanted to entertain. But what I ended up expressing, despite my desire (or lack thereof), was change. I finally saw myself and allowed myself to be selfish.
– H-P Ontto-Panula (Short Gay Stories)
Eighteen comic artists were invited to the event, selected based on comics that fit the description. The comics had to be self-published, meaning the creator had published them independently. However, I made two exceptions. These exceptions were Monisuhdetta by Sara Valta – published by the company she and her spouse (me) run together – and Piin seikkailut cismaailmassa by Pii Anttonen, published by the small press Täysikäsi. Anttonen’s comic was invited because it was originally published on their blog.
Another key criterion was the autobiographical nature of the work, which had to explore queer identity. I didn’t limit this to any specific identities, so the stories included themes like asexuality, transgender experiences, polyamory, and leather gay culture. The term “queer” broadly refers to various identities that share a similar social status. The term allows for ambiguity and can also resist precise definitions.
When looking more closely at the themes of the selected works, it may seem that I only chose comics related to gender, especially transgender experiences, but like said, I didn’t make the selection based on queer identity. Collecting these works has been a long process, as I am an active collector of self-published queer comics. Over the past five years, I’ve gathered them from the Zine Fest at the Helsinki Comics Festival and the small press tables at the Tampere Kuplii festival. While planning the event in June, I double-checked to ensure I hadn’t missed any comics that fit the theme, so I asked for recommendations from other queer comic artists and a few Helsinki Zine Fest organizers. Through this, I learned about one more work that wasn’t in my collection. Afterward, I also posted a query on Instagram, the social media platform favored by Finnish queer comic artists, asking about other works. Through this, I discovered two more publications, one of which was so new it hadn’t been displayed anywhere.
When I started this project, I had been drawing autobiographical comics and maintaining a comic blog irregularly for about ten years. For at least as long, I had been reading blogs and zines by other comic artists – especially queer ones – that dealt with their daily lives, as well as deeper themes like identity and life philosophies. The existence of both physical and virtual comic communities had pushed me toward making my own self-published works. Previously, my motivation for publishing had been mainly based on the desire to sell my own zines at events or to share random thoughts online, always hoping that there might be a few comments or likes on my posts later on.
– Siiri Viljakka (Questioning)
Out of the eighteen artists I invited, fifteen participated in the event by sending a letter to my email. For example, Pii Anttonen’s aforementioned work is still waiting for future events.
While reading the letters, Kosola made an interesting observation. He noted that the word “labyrinth” often recurs in works describing transgender experiences. Many of the works by trans people dealt with events encountered at the gender identity research clinics – colloquially known as “trans clinics” – which the writers described as confusing and difficult to navigate.
In my comic, for example, I illustrate how complicated and unfair the labyrinth of the Finnish trans clinic process can be. Year after year, the trans clinic has proven to focus primarily on denying treatments to people they deem ‘uncertain,’ rather than offering the necessary support and help to trans people who are still exploring their gender identity, or whose daily dysphoria could only be alleviated through hormone therapy and possible surgeries. No outsider can know who you are better than you yourself.
– Uolevi Äikäs (CISN’T)
At the time, my only experience was the frustrating process of gaining access to the clinic, which also opened up stories from acquaintances about their own experiences. For me, just getting my referral to the clinic was a stressful labyrinth that not everyone makes it through. Why does simply obtaining a referral to the trans clinic have to be such a difficult battle that requires a lot of luck? You need to meet the right doctor at the right time and without… prejudices.
– Onsku Franck (Lahden Seta’s zine)
Another recurring theme I’ve noticed in the works is the importance of community. While many works serve as therapeutic outlets for the creators to process their thoughts, these works are not just for the creators themselves, but also for people like them – for the queer community.
I love reading stories from others about analyzing themselves, and I’ve found it incredibly helpful to read about other people’s experiences when trying to understand myself. That’s what I hope I’m Not Boy or Girl can achieve too – that it can be helpful and resonate with others. Maybe someone will feel seen while reading my silly little comic and thoughts about my identity. Maybe it will make someone reflect on themselves, even though all of our experiences are different.
– Nika Kiiskilä (I’m not boy or girl)
I didn’t even want to create something groundbreaking or unprecedented, but rather to offer a small piece of my experience. Its purpose is to connect with other works and contribute to a broader collection of transgender experiences. For me, especially when I was younger, it was important to see comics from others who had similar experiences and thoughts to mine. The best feeling is when a comic makes you go, ‘Whoa, I didn’t even realize this was my experience, but this artist has expressed it perfectly.’
– Paju Ruotsalainen (Spoiler: He was trans)
Bad Polyamorist started as a love letter to myself, but in the end, it became a love letter to many.
– Alisa Malin (Bad polyamorist)
I’ve been active in comics associations and organizing comics festivals for over 15 years. In that time, I’ve noticed that more and more queer people have been getting into comics. Back in 2008, when I made my first self-published zine, comics were still perceived as a boys’ superhero thing, a children’s Donald Duck, or teenage girls’ manga obsession. Of course, I can’t view the comics field with the same outsider perspective as I did in 2008, but I notice that I’m no longer one of the few queer people.
Once, a librarian pondered the accessibility of comics and noted that everything one needs to make comics is fairly easy to steal. The barrier to making comics is low. You don’t need expensive paints; just a pencil and printer paper will suffice. Comics can also be published by using either a smartphone and social media or a home printer.
Queer people often face difficulty in accessing resources that others take for granted. They encounter discrimination in workplaces, schools, housing, or healthcare. Although this is just my own guesswork, I believe that for someone who wants to be seen as themselves, comics are a great way to take control of the narrative of their own life. In self-published comics, no one else can define what your story is.
Text originally published in finnish on the trans*creative project blog on September 8, 2024. The quotes from the artists have been translated by chat GPT.